# Stopping the conversation car crash Managing a big group of engineers (or yourself), in the new worlds of remote and slack can be hard. Some days are just breezy, whilst others full of struggle - helping people talk to, rather than past each other.  [![car crash warning sign](https://cdn.hashnode.com/res/hashnode/image/upload/v1668362993100/yrtzjXwTz.png)](https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-oBHBB32cLFM/X7_DZf6ohPI/AAAAAAAAG9I/0v4FfupYYA4vlmL2lQxGRujk64w80p5hgCLcBGAsYHQ/s300/dont-crash-s.png) After spending some years on mail-groups, forums, and chat software, I wrote up these rules with the help of a few fine colleagues to help guide big groups in the use of Slack. These are also available as in Markdown in a [githib Gist](https://gist.github.com/danielabel/04f75fd85fe424da54d4d2c0be5ea053#file-slack-posting-guidance-md).  ## Using Slack is more like using Twitter than having a chat * Your audience is likely broader than you think. What you say is recorded and searchable forever. * Nuance is hard with words alone. It takes work to express complex ideas. Consider using a less public place to finesse them. * Your words will sometimes stand alone and lose their conversation context. Be aware of what you say, when you say it. * Chatting in a private room with your close buddies is very different than _@all_ in _#announcements_ ## Post in haste, repent at leisure * If you feel very strongly on a topic, consider writing your thoughts down and holding off posting for few hours. * Consider getting some feedback from a different perspective or your mentor. * More people will be able to hear what you say if you work to include everyone. ## Once something is said, it stays read. * When posting about a social topic, consider other people’s feelings and experience. * Take care if you are sharing an opinion on a topic that could have impact on others. Your words are powerful. Carefully consider the effect you could have. * Consider asking an [open question](https://examples.yourdictionary.com/examples-of-open-ended-and-closed-ended-questions.html)) rather than having a rant. * Be aware of language and how it can exclude. * ‘_**Starting a debate**_’ is often a car crash waiting to happen - approach with caution. ## Match conversation to correct channel * Rooms have a topic and a purpose. Try to support that when you post. * Use threads to help others keep up - the larger the audience the better it is to use threads. * Some rooms belong to teams; you are welcome; but it’s their home. ## When you get feedback on your words, listen * Feedback is someone is trying to help. Listen. Then ask questions - to gain understanding of their point of view. * If your post is fresh and is problematic; ask if you should temporarily remove it whilst you understand the issue. ## Reading slack and giving feedback * People are often communicating whilst multi-tasking. Try to help them be their best with simple unassuming feedback. * If you feel something is going to cause someone to be upset, expect the writer to not have realized when they posted. Let them know privately. * Nuance is hard. Be curious and read [with positive intent.](https://fluidcircle.net/2020/09/18/assume-positive-intent/) English is not everyone's' first language. If you are unsure, give them a call; have a chat. ## Further reading and watching ### Not sure how to put across a point of view? Try Non-violent communication NVC’s creator Marshall Rosenberg’s [introduction](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-dpk5Z7GIFs) ### Perspectives on the power of your choice of language * [The Problem with ‘Hey Guys’](https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2018/08/guys-gender-neutral/568231/) * [Why Sexist Language Matters](http://uncadvocatesformdphdwomeninscience.web.unc.edu/files/2014/03/Kleinman_QualitativeSociology_2002.pdf)